I miss you

Dylan Ford also known as Jays,
Is a name that will be remembered forever.
 Dylan died on Halloween 2010.
He and 4 of his friends were walking on the turcot train tracks at 3 in the morning.
Trains usually never come after 12pm.
But on Halloween it was different.
The train was postponed because it hit someone in Ottawa.
Dylan and his friends were walking on the train tracks unknown that the train was delayed.
And the tragedy happened.
Dylan and 2 of the 4 friends were hit and died instantly.
I've known Dylan since I was about 4 years old.
He is my best friends step brother.
I haven't seen Dylan in a while but the memories I've had will always be alive inside.
Dylan, I and everyone else miss you so much.
It's still not real to me.
I see your tags everywhere and I just want to cry.
I sit in my room looking at your pieces on YouTube and just bawl.
Since you left, I've changed my views on life.
I live my life to the fullest and I don't care about what people think about me.
Just know that I think of you every day and I will miss you forever.
Losing a loved one is very hard, and I think this is the hardest yet.
You were only 16, but you've lived a great life.
The day you slipped away, was the day I found it won't be the same.
I wish I could see you again, but I know I can't.
I hope you can hear me,
I miss you so much.

Rest in peace, I love you <3

It’s funny how you can be hurt so bad from the person you least expected it from.

People somehow always end up being the person they promised they would never be.

And it SUCK.

Having to lose a friend because of the stupidest things really hurts.

Especially when that friend is very important to you.

Lately my friends have all lied to me and like honestly it hurts but it’s time to move on.

It’s hard to leave a friend behind but sometimes it's the best thing you can do. 

Today the worst thing happened,

One of my very close friends stopped talking to me because my other friend believed "She stole me away from him/her"

Well you see jealously is a very dangerous weapon that backfires on you a little to often.

Now I have to go around while 2 people are not talking to me because they don’t want to fight.

Like what the fuck is the point of that.

I understand jealously and everyone has a little of it in their body, but some have it more than others and it's not a very good trait.

Now I'm old enough to chose what friends I want and don't and I don't need any help with that thank you very much.

See now I have to face with loosing friends or not.

I have a great friend that means so much to me and has never gotten in a fight.

And I have a great friend that I've known for a long time but, we fight a lot but always somehow make’s it better.

So how do I do this?

Do I choose the one that started all of this and hurt me very much?

Or do I choose the one that was willing to let me go for no reason?

Or do I chose both, that will be challenging but rewardful?

Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies.

So why do it?

Time to have a long sleep and think about this.

It sucks when the people you know become the people you knew.

Stay true to yourself because there are very few people who will stay true to you.

Lately I've been changing drastically.
Its as if my heart as not many reactions to things I should be hurt/mad/sad at.
But I don't believe something is wrong with me, I believe I've just gotten used to all these hurtful things going on in my life that they don't really affect me much anymore.

I’m not even gonna get pissed anymore. I just gotta learn to expect the lowest from the people I thought the highest of.

 ^ I totally agree with this quote, and I think I have actually lernt from it and I'm willing to apply it to my daily life.
Lately I've been asked why don't I give a shit anymore, why is it you would be willing to lose a friend in the snap of your fingure and not even fight for them back?
Well you know what, life is way too short to deal with the people that are just there to hurt you, because no matter how much someone apologizes for something they have done, it always ends up happening again.
So why the fuck should I sit around and wait for it to happen over and over again, if I could be with true friends that would never want to hurt me?
For all you guys out there that, honestly I don't give a shit about, its not me just being a bitch over the little things.
Its because the little things are what I notice and thats what a true friend cares about.
Now I'm sure many of you are just thinking this is a little phase that I'm gonna stop sooner or later, and just forgive you by next year, well I think you should think twice because honny thats now going to happen.
My life is to precious too deal with people like you.
Now I know I sound like an 80 year old woman but I think I'd rather realize this HUGE mistake most of you would only notice when most of your life is done, and your heart has been broken one too many times I've decided to point out this life lesson while I still have many friends to meet and many friends to let go.
So yes I don't care anymore, and I know most of you think that I do but I honestly don't.
Oh ye, did I forget to mention I don't hate anyone, I just don't trust anyone but myself because I will not let my heart be caused so much misery.

Don’t stress the people from your past. There’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.

 I learned it’s better to have few friends that will stay true than to have many friends that are gonna turn their backs on you.

I guess in the end people become the people they promised they’d never be. 

Now one day in life most of you will start thinking the way I am, but I highly suggest you start before you get too hurt.

Stay true to yourself because there are very few people who will stay true to you.